www.wgdfmcc.org.uk

West Glos & Dean Forest
Motor Cycle Club

Celebrating 71 Years of Motor Cycling 1953 - 2024

Chicken Farm Winter H&H - 16Jan2011

Words by: Colin Jones and
also on this page: Ben Falconer's Press Report, Matt's Mutterings (Steward), Snippets, Videos and Lost & Found

Final Results are now up. Click the link on the right.

Some superb Photos and Video now linked on the right with Colin's video finally here (Only a year late - just like my special test times used to be).


Snippets

The on-line entry system did a surprising amount of business taking about 30% of riders away from having to post and fill forms in by hand.... This is surely the way to go.

We did an interview with local builder Steve Cooper, and extracted his tips for getting to the end of the event intact. He said, "For the first lap when I get in everyone's way as they try to pass me, I wear a light weight yellow top, then at the end of the lap I tear it off to show my true colours, so when they pass me again they don't think 'there is that slow bloke that held me up', and be tempted to fill me in!" Now that is defeatist talk Steve and anyway it was the bike that let you down in the end not your riding.

Best laid plans of mice and Glenn etc. There was a gravel road all around the right of the parking field which should have meant trickling downhill to it then gently driving up but somehow a mud layer got on top and drivers couldn't see it to stay on it. luckily we have enough 4x4's and quads to get everyone out. Well, nearly everyone, the timing trailer had to wait for the next passing tractor and more frozen ground, sorry about that Phill.the Winner - Jon Hinam

What is it with Cameras and Video Cams? Riders just take theirs eyes of the track for one nanosecond and they plough their noses through the mud as if on cue. Well, just because you did it for me doesn't mean you will feature in the Editor's Video. (Well Julian's and Steve's certainly do - see above vid.) Even our winner Jon had a moment and that lurid slide on our front page was just the start of a sequence caught by Andy Chiswell.

enduronews.com's boss Bob Mullins came over and caught some of the action on his camera and has a good report on his site

Some rider's just plain rode their socks off and some just had the wrong socks on. Ian Wathen proved a mere Pampera trail bike could be ridden at a class winning speed even if he couldn't get it to the end, perhaps he'll bring his pre65 BSA next time just to wind you all up! Watch him holeshot the startline in Digger's Video.

And wrong classed Chris Morris won't be riding as a sportsman now he knows his powered bike skills are well up to his pedal powered abilities. Chris can often be seen 10ft up in the air with a mountainbike and surviving the landing, plus being a competant trials rider means even the top clubmen can watch out at the next Hare and Hounds.

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Thanks

We offer a big thank you to Haines & Co who have handled postal and personal visit entries for us. Click their logo for more info.

Ben's Press report

Gas Gas Pampera riderRIDERS desperate for competition after the cold snap forced cancellations, meant West Glos and Dean Forest MCC was rewarded with a good entry for the winter version of its summer event.

Most of a strong expert field managed to get their lap count in to double figures, despite rain in the final half hour of the three hour race.

Clerk of the course Glenn Thomas had to postpone the event before Christmas because the ground was too hard to stake out, and after the weather eased he toiled in the dark to make an extended course of the loop used last summer.

This time the going was on the soft side and two stroke power was at an advantage.

Winner John Hinam blitzed round for 14 laps on his KTM 250, one more than Derek Bawn, who won the previous event. Also one lap down was Neil Thomas, on a KTM 300, which made for a two stroke podium.

Rhys Davies and Ryan Bawn got their 12 laps in just ahead of Lydney's Steve Biddle. That Biddle, who usually runs at the front of the club's enduros, finished sixth, demontrated the depth of talent at the head of the field.

The club was pleased to attract such a good quality entry, and it didn't end with the experts. Four Super Veterans – Adrian Evans, Terry Beecham, Phill Gardiner and Paul Armstrong – put in 10 laps, a tally which would have given them a respectable placing in the Expert class.

At the top of the clubman two stroke class, Dean Reed, Greg Hodge and Roger Holland, managed 10 laps, while those clubman on four strokes found the going harder. Class winner Daniel Nelmes bossed his Suzuki RMZ250 around for eight laps, ahead of a gaggle of 450s.

At the top of the veteran class were two small two strokes – a 200 KTM ridden by Darren Vincent, and a 125 KTM with Duncan Shaw aboard. Vincent managed eight laps, while Shaw completed his seven laps before the 300 KTM of Richard Holland.

Chris Morris's nine laps saw him head the sportsman class by a big margin, ahead of David Rickards on six laps. Gas Gas rider

Sole trail class entrant Ian Wathen also completed six laps, before his day ended. He had the satisfaction of getting what appeared to be the holeshot on the rest of his startline group, aboard his Gas Gas Pampera.

The club would like to thank the landowner, St John Ambulance, timing crew and marshals for their invaluable assistance.

Matt's Mutterings

At 11 am on Sunday 16th of January I was standing outside the first bend of the Course waiting for 15 experts to try and cram themselves into a yard wide gap. The predicted carnage didn't happen. Steve Biddle went into the bend 3rd. Dunno why he was 7th not much further on. Waiting through the classes didn't help much either although one or two riders managed to block the route for those following. Steve, "I'm wearing a yellow jacket on the first lap so that I can take it off and not be recognised as that t*** who got in the way" Cooper was conspicuous at the back.

The start over with I wandered off through the woods to see what was happening on the big and slippery hill where fun and games had been predicted. As event Steward I had little to do officially (tip here, volunteer first and fast) so I had told Mike, Chief Marshal that I would be there if bodies were needed. 50 yards out some poor soul had stalled and couldn't get going. Bearing him in mind behind me I slithered across the woods, the sound of screaming engines getting louder. When I got to the top of the hill thee were more flouro marshal's bibs than riders and any rider who got stuck was pounced upon and manhandled to the top before he had a chance to wonder why.

KTM rider guns the throttle in mudAlready one or two riders were having a rest at the bottom, having failed the hill. Dave Harris, having an attack of sympathy had prepared a chicken route but was keeping that very low key, suggesting that any rider needed at least 2 spirited attempts on the real hill before being offered an alternative. As it happened no one appeared to need it although at least 2 riders unofficially took this way later. One poor soul on a CRF was spotted out in the fields failing to get up the hedge line between the Puzzle wood and the hill. Just a loop up the hedge but it took him probably 10 minutes. His form was rudely and critically commented on by those in green bibs who awaited his attendance at the hill in anticipation. Never let it be said that West Glos members don't show an interest in the competitors. His arrival at the hill was disappointing. He stopped and "rested". For some while. His first attempt was definitely not getting any sympathy. A retreat to the bottom brought even worse. A good talking to by Stan! Fortified by this he went again. To be honest he was equally ineffective but a Pavlovian reaction by the green bibs set in and he was slung to the top of the hill. Self interest maybe. They wanted their after-event tea before the burger van went home. To be fair to the chap the rider was shown the short way home and he didn't take it. Amusement was provided by Mark Chiswell who had parked in Pingry Lane to watch througRed Bull clothed rider in the mudh an open window. Hope Vitara's seats clean nicely.

The hill was obviously over manned so I wandered across the fields in the company of Merv. As to expected the conversation centred on the likely success of his "oppo" Steve. Sorry Steve we shouldn't really be so negative. You did very well and exceeded our hopes by 1000%. 5 laps!! You can tell Merv is a trials rider, he was going to plod 200 yards up one side of the hedge and the same down, just because there was some tape there. As an experienced navigator I nipped through the hole in the hedge at the bottom. See, you can teach an old dog new tricks and Merv is an………….

The next bit of wood also serves as a Wyegate and Sidecargate section. I wonder why doddery old men on gutless pre 65 sidecars and first time no hopers on trail bikes, all fitted with trials tyres can get up and clean a tiny little hill when rough tough H&H riders can't. Here was to be the last resting place of the overbiked sportsman. Good job there was a green bib with a trials bike there to rescue them. I'd managed to avoid getting my hands dirty so far so off I wandered, pausing only to repeat Glens request for some mobile marshals to stop watching and go and do some work. Well I was walking! Moving though the Puzzle wood was actually rather disappointing. No problems there really. Met a gnome with a camera hiding behind a tree. No it wasn't Colin although there is a striking similarity. No it was Enduro news guru Bob Mullins. He was wondering where to take Mrs enduro news for lunch. I made several recommendations, covering my arse carefully if they went wrong and left him to it. Good pics on Enduronews.com.

Out of the woods against the course leads across a field to the first wood again. I arrived to meet Andy T muttering about *******ing useless riders who couldn't ride in a straight line and kept breaking his red and white tape. Every cloud etc As he put it at least it was using the damn stuff up as it was so fragile. Even a suggested alternative use, replacing something else that comes on a roll, was rejected on hygiene grounds. Andy did comment on how useful my mole grips had been as a gear lever on his quad. What amused me was when they were requested earlier in the day Glen had asked Anthony for "a tool kit, some molegrips". Just what does he think goes on in the Haines workshop. Answers on a CCM quality control form please . Anyway, where was I? Just as he finished taping a green bib on a highly desirable bike appeared. It was a well known local dealer on one of the finer elements of the GasGas range. (I'll have my fee later Anth) . Did you know that GasGas appears in the MS Word spell checker?

Anth has the family attribute. No idea where he is and where he is going. So naturally he aimed for the tape as well. I pointed out that Andy had a hammer so he stopped in time but managed to snag the tape when he pulled off. Typical.

Back to the woods and the big hill sounded fun. Drewpy appeared. He had forgotten the event and it was only when Callum and him had rolled up at the usual but now empty meeting point that he had remembered. Cutting his losses he went for a local ride. Dowies then Cannop was planned so he ended up at Redbrook. On his way he found out that the event couldn't be heard in Newland but that the bottom end of Clearwell had the full benefit of the noise. Worth remembering that maybe.

The hill had not got any easier for some. By now the green bibs had mostly disappeared but Pete and Mark were still there. In fact they spent the whole event there dragging bikes up. Probably one of the most noticeable efforts in an event full of them. Rider had generally got the idea by now. Aim for the one line, miss it and then hold on tight. Make a good effort and reach the green bibs and they might help. Wimp out and you were left to your own devices. As time was getting on and I was still clean I ditched the Camelback and donned a pair of Mincost's finest work gloves. Tip from Stan these were. They are just like a motorcycle glove but with a ruftytufty builder label on them. Time to start dragging or ducking flying mud. Keri arrived with a sad tale of a seized 300 KTM that had been a Xmas pressy or something like that. Never mind , he got some exercise pulling bikes. Riders were getting tired now. Even the good ones. It was nice to see the eventual winner , Jon Hinam grind to a halt briefly at the same time as Steve Biddle did.

KTM Rider crossing a tree1pm and the rain starts. The hill started to grease up. So did the riders. They were becoming few and far between now. It was really only a few competent experts and the tail enders out there. At 1:30 on the dot we decided we could start to go home. We could hear a few bikes out in the Puzzle wood but none arrived. Deciding that they were green bibs we plodded up through the woods. Remember the hill up the field that the CRF rider couldn't do. Apparently older GasGas bikes are not all that good either. This was not mentioned by the rider/dealer. The message from glen had been, come back for a cuppa then we can all go out and strip the course. By the time we got back every one had had their drink and gone out again. Barely had my tea gone down than someone was after a tow out of the bog that had been a car park. Landrover with knobblies to the rescue. That mud is horrid. Orange and it gets everywhere. I am not sure if I had the good deal or not. I didn't collect a single arrow or piece of tape but spent the next 2 ½ hours dragging vehicles out. Most didn't need it but were driven by wimps. After all many did get out. One that wasn't going anywhere was the tea wagon and its tow van. The van was dragged backwards at some speed across the field. I don't think the driver was happy. The main tea wagon was less easy. The owner reckoned it weighed 3 tons! It felt like it. Low 2nd and diffs locked allowed a crawl across the bog, wagon skating everywhere. By the time the "gravel" track had been reached the landy's engine was blowing steam. Maybe its got a KTM engine in it.

A long cooling period saw the gauge drop a bit. To entertain us during this time Mike Wells decided that his V6 gas guzzler would get him out. He moved. Down the field! Even when the thing stalled! I think the expression "moment" says a lot. He was still the wrong side of me and the still jammed tea wagon. Complicated toing and froing saw him past me and trailerless. The 110 was stuck back on the wagon, Mikes Frontera was tied to me and off we went, slowly. Might I suggest at this point that we have a tea man with a tractor next time Glen. I haven't dared look in the 110 yet to see how much mud is there.

In the gathering gloom few were left. Sport was anticipated as Mike Allen's Pimpmobile was still in the bog. Predictions were not good. He looked for his tow eye with no success. Apparently the shiny grid on the front is made out of recycled biro's so we could use that. . Planning on having a go he bullied poor old Josh into removing all muddy kit. ( It's a van Mike!) Did it move? Nope. He needed a push. Of course, as you would expect, we were all very concerned about our filthy, orange hands on his wet and very white paint. In fact some who shall be nameless but chair club meetings, gloried in the situation. Send him the bill Mike.

When he got moving he didn't stop and much to everyone's disappointment made it! The next to try was Anthony. Having already covered himself in glory and mud by going flat on his face when doing a lap of honour in his cycle shorts and wellies (not a pretty site) he could let his mate show him up. Well the tranny made it.

Time to go. Darren discovered that even rubber gloves and wellies are not electric fence proof. It was nigh on dark. A good day was had by all, I think and sales of washing powder have skyrocketed.

Thanks from many must go to the organising team and landowners who put on a great job.

Results appeared later so well done Colin. 1 or 2 riders must be pleased, 1 or 2 disappointed and many proud to have finished. One class winner is obviously in need of more plastic trophies as he was obviously riding in a class below his abilities. Bite the bullet mate and enter clubman in the future.

Videos

Here is an edit just in from Jonathan Brough with Camera by Simon Welch. (Now let's see, could he be thinking about following Dougie Lampkin's example and trying a new sport now?)

Click here for Digger's excellent top quality coverage.

(Colin's vid was at the top.)

Lost & Found

Lost: Side panel KTM with 246 (and mud) stuck on it. If you found it then contact Colin to help repatriate it. entrysec@wgdfmcc.org.uk